Guest post by Mr. Justin Lawrence
Power Rankings Week 7
This weeks ranking will be some combination of current rankings and projecting to the future. There will be no theme throughout, but I’ve been pretty cranky since coming home from Europe, btw did you guys know I went to Europe? I’m a world traveler, and that will probably show.
- Justin My grip on the top spot was loosened last week with a crushing loss to my current online bully, Jesse. I’m worried about facing 4-2 Cha this week without top ranked QB Deshaun Watson. I will lose next week to Mike when half my team is on bye. Even with those concerns I have scored the most points in the league by over 500 points, have a top guy at each position and some depth to improve the squad through trading with one of you dummies. David Johnson may be targeting a Thanksgiving week return, giving me a boost at the end of the regular season and into the playoffs.
- Mike has the top TE, 2 WRs inside the top 7, and FANTASY SUPERSTAR Leonard Fournette. I like his depth at the flex positions, and he has a good chance to be 6-2, playing Eric this week and then me during my bye week disaster. What is holding him back? Well, his two QBs play for the Browns and Bengals, and he somehow only has $7 in FAAB. If he stumbles in one of the next two weeks I think Mike will be paying close attention to Jason’s 25,000 word PR looking at playoff scenarios later in the season.
- Kareem Hunt is to Dave as that flaming sword is to Beric Dondarrion. Super cool, able to defeat most everything, but ultimately it can’t overcome all of his other deficiencies. The Lord of Blackhaven has died 6 times! 6! Look, its cool he keeps coming back to life, but stop dying dude. Drew Brees is always good, Evans and Rivers will finish inside the top 12 at their position, but some real holes to plug after that. No way LaGarrette Blount finishes a top 12 RB, he’s fat and has competition in the backfield.. Will Fuller has 5 tds on 7 receptions...Honestly, I’m not sure if I’d have him ranked this high if it was another team, but Dave is always pretty good so I’ll just accept the numbers. .Dave is currently sitting on top of the Wall. Would be cool, except he’s watching some Ice Dragon burn its foundation to the ground.
- Cha has scored 2,169 points the last 3 weeks after starting 3-0. Losing Odell Beckham didnt help, and his top two players (McCoy and Julio) have already had their byes so he’ll probably rebound this week and beat me. What an asshole. Last week I asked Cha if he wanted to go to the John Mulaney show and he said no bc the tickets were like $85. Well, today I looked and saw they are actually only $19 so I texted him to see if he’d like to go given that new info...NO RESPONSE. Boy do I feel like a lonely loser. When you read this Cha, please be so kind as to respond. Open invite to any Cincy people btw.
- I like the coowners side of their trade with Tim. Hopkins and Dez are legit wrs, and will allow them to trade their other wr for depth at other positions. I think Ajayi will finish better than he started, and they get to play both dumpster fire teams, Mitch and Tay. If Hundley is decent, they’ll make some noise come playoff time. I have considered both Seattle and SD as places to move and I hope by ranking them above their spot in the standings either Coowner will allow me a couch to sleep on for a year or two.
- Tim is really hard to rank. He is 4-2, and has 2 wins against the other 4-2 teams. However, he only has a .500 all play record, and has scored the 10th most points...but is fielding practically a whole new team...but just lost Aaron Rodgers for the season. Last week Tim traded (deep breath) Ty Montgomery, Blake Bortles, DeAndre Hopkins, Delanie Walker, and Dez Bryant for Cam, Marshawn Lynch, Ameer Abdullah, Travis Kelce, and Tyrod Taylor. Getting two quality qbs back in those deals could save his season with Rodgers going down. However, he has a tough 4 games ahead and without a standout RB or WR I think he misses the playoffs.
- I have no idea where I want to live, work or do with my life rn. Thought I may move out west, or maybe Chicago. Chicago is cool. Loved Berlin, really wanted to move there while I was there but now the barriers seem too difficult. Cincy is decent and soooo cheap, but I been here forever and it’s time to go. Maybe I’ll just book another long trip and put hard decisions off for a little while longer. America is real sucky rn and I kinda hate living here. Anyways, Eric has a decent team, but he won’t do enough to improve it. Maybe he’ll get some lucky breaks with the schedule and be a first round exit, but will probably just miss the playoffs and hope no one makes him coowner.. His team gives me hope for life though, as in, nothing matters and we all end up dead anyhow no matter what we choose.
- Jason has ridden the success of #2-3 QBs Brady and Alex Smith, along with Zeke to a middling record and total points scored total. I think next week is the highpoint for his team this season. DeMarco Murray is questionable and in a time-share with Henry, Zeke will likely be suspended for 6 games at some point, and Alex Smith will regress to the mean. But dont worry Jason, you have fantasy NBA to look forward to! Loved the Gordon Hayward pick!!!
- Andrew is a sleeper to finish last in the league this year Can’t get behind trading Cam, Lynch, and the underrated Agholor for Bortles, Trubisky and Montgomery. Even if those trades end up a wash, Andrew faces the toughest schedule the rest of the season. I am predicting absurd late season trades that half the league forces Mitch to veto.
- Mitch will owe me $20 at the end of the season because this team won’t make the playoffs. He will trade, add and cheat his way out of the cellar, but he already has 5 losses to the teams he’ll be competing against for a playoff spot in case of a huge turnaround
- I love Bun’s moxie! Still out here tradin’ and making pick ups! If this was a summer sports camp, Tay would get a most improved award right now! But he has spotted everyone but Mitch a 3 game lead in the standings and still has to play 3 of the top 4 scorers in the league to this point. Good luck, I’m rooting for you Tay!
Jesse has scored the second most points in the league and is very unlucky to be sitting at 3-3. He should definitely be ranked somewhere! His win against me was big, but losses against Cha, Coowners, and Mike could be crucial if there is a log jam at the end of the season for playoff spots. I loved his stealing Agholor for a shitty qb, but am not sure I understand the trading today? I do think Mixon is an upgrade over McCafferey but I think he could’ve gotten more from one of his QBs if he had been more patient. Ryan is sure to bounce back from being ranked near the bottom of QBs. Finding a 3rd RB is critical, but I think at the end Jesse is comfortably in the playoffs, fighting for a round 1 bye.