1 Justin - Team USA
Justin's team is simply stacked at every position. Even his kicker and defense are top 3. Also, with Bell and Gurleyon BYE, Justin currently does NOT have a starting RB. Can't wait to see what absurd kind of deal he's able to pull off with one of you suckers.
2 Mitch - Clippers
Like the Clips I'm pretty top heavy while clearly lacking in depth. Devontae Booker COULD BE that guy the Clippers have needed the past few seasons to get them over the top. With my luck he'll do just enough to give the job back to CJ Anderson in a couple weeks.
3 Taylor - Anthony Davis
If, IF, Taylor can get healthy he's a sure title contender. Unfortunatly, Shady McCoy looks to be limited at best for the second week in a row, and with the trade of Martellus Bennett, Taylor has bet on the health of Tyler Eifert.
4 Elkins - Jame Harden?
Elkins leads the league in All Play Win% but the ACTUAL win aren't following. I guess that's kind of like basketball nerd savior, James Harden? Elkins should make the playoffs, but if he wants to make a move for the belt he's going to need an upgrade at FLEX or QB2.
5 Eric - Toronto Raptors
The Raptors will most likely finish with a solid record AGAIN, but no one will care because we all know deep down they suck.
6 Mike - Enes Kanter
The thinking here being Mike has given up 600+ more points than any other team this season. I originally wrote down James Harden, but it turns out Mike isn't that great at socring points. So I went with Enes Kanter (another terrible defender, though improved last season). I'm 3 glasses of wine in, but I really think Mike makes the playoffs. He should be ranked ahead of Eric.
7 Jason - Sacramento Kings
Jason out here just making moves with no real plan, kinda like the Kings I guess. Seriously WTF are the Kings doing. I 100% am not sure who is the coach. Jason's bench is projected to score 41 points this week.
8 Cha - Post Championship Mavs
I'm officially off the Cha bandwagon. A year after winning the championship, Cha sits at 2-4 and his big move was to trade Devonta Adams for Martellus Bennett. Like the post championship Mavs, Cha is just coasting. When's the last time the guy was on GroupMe?!
9 Andrew - Memphis Grizzlies
"Grit and Grind" is dead and so is Andrew's team. What's the over under on Chandler Parsons GP this year? 15?! Good grief, what a disaster. Just noticed Andrew is starting TWO TEs this week. One of them is something named Jack Doyle, which sounds like a shitty SNL character.
10 Jesse / Dave - Pau Gasol
No one bitches like Pau Gasol, except Jesse and Dave. Seriously, I expect Dave to bitch about a rule 8 weeks into the season, but Jesse is just as bad this year. Not just in the fantasy line either! Guy's talking shit in the NBA line too. Look Joel Embiid is NOT "leet" but damn if the guy didn't look good last night.
11 Tim - Pheonix Suns
Lots of interesting names on the Suns and on Tim's team. Unfortunately neither team has a true star, so they both just suck. Tim's 1-5 record should improve enough to keep him out of the auto co-owner slot but the playoffs are out of the question.
12 Drew - Seth Curry
You get the idea, Drew can only dream of being blessed with the fantasy skills of his older brother. The same way Seth can only dream of not being named Seth. What a shitty name. I just looked it up, he's the only Seth to every play in the NBA.